


There is, it seems, a way to get Two and a Half Men off the air, and it all rests on how crazypants Charlie Sheen happens to be feeling.
CBS announced Thursday that they've axed their top-rated comedy for the rest of the year, Reuters reports.
Production of the hit show was already halted, following Sheen's hospitalization just a few weeks back. The actor's supposedly functioning addiction (among other things) has never precipitated such a major blow to the TV show. But then, Sheen's never said such nasty (and bizarre) things about the show's creator to the media before. (Forget all that "sticks and stones" business, kids: words hurt.)
"Based on the totality of Charlie Sheen's statements, conduct and condition, CBS and Warner Bros. Television have decided to discontinue production of Two and a Half Men for the remainder of the season," CBS said in a statement.
Thursday, Sheen went off on Men showrunner Chuck Lorre to TMZ, syndicated radio program The Alex Jones Show (and probably anyone within shouting distance), presumably in response to some jokey title cards poking fun at Sheen's debauched lifestyle that Lorre added to the end of recent airings of Men.
In an interview with TMZ, Sheen exploded, calling Lorre a "stupid, stupid little man and a p*ssy punk that I never want to be like," and then went on to blast the TV writer with accusations. "That piece of sh*t took money out of my pocket, my family's pocket, and, most importantly, my second family -- my crew's pocket. You can tell him one thing: I own him."
Right about now, you're probably curious about Sheen's mental health -- or at the very least his state of sobriety. During another rant on Thursday, Sheen told The Alex Jones Show that he's totes fine, you guys, and the idea that he's plagued by a substance abuse problem is "bullsh*t."
"I have a disease?" he said. "Bullsh*t! I cured it ... with my mind."
It seems that Sheen's mind is also finding him imaginary work. The actor told Radar yesterday that he had no plans to ever return to Men, and that he's working on a series for HBO called Sheen's Corner. HBO told PopEater that there is "no truth to this." Sheen also texted Good Morning America from the Bahamas Friday morning, saying that he's sober and plans to return to work on Two and a Half Men Tuesday (the date the show was previously scheduled to restart production).
Since May 2010, Sheen has been pulling in $27.5 million a year for his work on the sitcom. We wouldn't blame him if he conveniently blanked on CBS' decision to press pause on the show.
As for the rest of the batsh*ttery he put out there on Thursday, we assume he can make it all better "with his mind."